The new year is traditionally a time to think of goals we'd like to achieve or bad habits we'd like to break–not a time to think about frustrating people.

Yet there I was near the end of the year dealing with increasingly frustrating behavior from individuals whom God has apparently charged with helping me be more like Jesus. I imagined a new year without the aggravation and that's what I wanted.

The Answer

I fantasized about the options for eliminating the crazymaking. But none of them seemed practical. That's when I prayed and received a surprising answer.

Rather than cut them off or use some magic words to make the annoyance stop, God seemed to say, “Forgive them.”

“Well, I've forgiven many times before and here I am,” I responded.

“Right. But you haven't wiped out the debt. They still owe you,” God seemed to say.

Well, yes. They've racked up quite an impressive array of grievances, I thought. “So I just let them continue to be rude and mean?” I asked.

“No. Any new frustrations you can discuss with them honestly.”

Hm. “Well, okay, I said. “But I'll be discussing them honestly right away, believe me!”

The Result

Yet despite a ramping up of bad behavior, the next time I saw these frustrating individuals, it was like they knew that I'd forgiven them for the past. They were nice–really nice!

Do I imagine that they'll never be a source of frustration again? No. But I do think God blessed me as I obeyed and forgave, and the frustrating people picked up on my forgiveness.

How to Have a Fresh Start

If you are dealing with frustrating people, I encourage you to pray for wisdom. There are definitely some individuals we should avoid. But if God says to forgive, move forward in obedience. I was tempted a couple of times to complain about past bad behavior, but I stopped myself. Those debts have been paid. I don't want to be one of those annoying bill collectors in my relationships.

If a new frustration crops up, trust God to give you wisdom for dealing with it honestly. We don't have to have a script ready for every eventuality. This is what I'm reminding myself every time I think, “What if they do it again?”

Give yourself a fresh start too. I don't have to keep berating myself for past bad behavior. Neither do you. We can go to God for forgiveness and then start over.

“Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” Matthew 6:12

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