Do you feel like you're failing because your kids' character, or math skills, or writing aren't where they should be? Did you plan to read more books, finish more lessons, and make more healthy meals than you did? Or do you feel like you're failing personally in your faith, organization, or health? If so, know that I can relate. I'm Dr. Melanie Wilson and this is The Homeschool Sanity Show where I will share three reasons you think you're failing and how you can just stop that already. Seriously, I want you to feel better after listening to this episode. So grab a cup of coffee, some laundry to fold, or some sneakers and let's get over this failure fixation, shall we?

The first reason you feel like you're failing is because you're focused on your weaknesses.

I have always thought I homeschooled six kids in spite of my weaknesses in organization, patience, and focus. Then I watched a video clip of Pastor Emmanuel Iren discussing Jonah's impact on Nineveh and my whole perspective changed. I was likewise focused on Jonah's weaknesses. He was bitter and disobedient. But he was the perfect prophet to accomplish God's purposes. Before Jonah arrived, the people of Nineveh believed in a god that was a man who emerged from a fish.

You're going to catch on to this quickly, so I will just say it. God chose Jonah because he knew he would run to the boat to avoid preaching to the Ninevites. He didn't choose Jonah in spite of this weakness. Jonah did have a very good prophet characteristic, however. He told the truth. The men said, “What up?” and he told them he was running from God. The men apparently thought this God was just an average God that was no concern to them. Until the storm threatened them. They cast lots to see who was responsible, and who made the lot fall on Jonah? God. I love that Jonah continues to be honest and says, “Yep, it's me. I'm responsible for the storm. Throw me overboard.” That was no kind of honesty that these men were used to and they were scared. They threw out everything else but Jonah to survive the storm, but as you know it didn't work. They threw Jonah out and prayed to the one true God for mercy.

A big fish swallows Jonah and delivers him to the shores of Nineveh where the people can see him being spit out. Can you imagine? They're rubbing their eyes in disbelief. Jonah is in a much more obedient state of mind after his time out in a fish. He tells the people to repent and they are willing to listen to anything this man from God has to say.

Now what does this have to do with why you feel like you're failing? If you are focused on your weaknesses as a source of failure, you've missed the boat. God may very well have chosen you to homeschool your children at this time BECAUSE of your weaknesses. God knew I was disorganized. He knew that I was drowning in a mess until a flyfisherwoman called the FLYLady pulled me in and taught me about routines. She set me free so I could homeschool and handle more kids. Like Jonah I was ready to preach! I shared my story with other homeschool moms in The Organized Homeschool Life.

God used a disobedient prophet to save a ship full of sailors and an entire city. So God can surely use your weaknesses to teach your children. I ask you now to consider how God has used your weaknesses for good. And throw the idea of weaknesses meaning failure overboard.

The second reason you think you're failing is because you're comparing.

You know it's wrong, but you keep sneaking peeks at what your homeschool neighbor is doing. I did that at my son's homeschool kindergarten graduation. I agreed to participate before I knew any better. I thought it was a photo op with cake. But no, apparently it was an exhibition for homeschool talent scouts.

I was shocked that several kindergarteners provided the music for the graduation. I didn't even have my son in lessons yet. Clearly, I was already years behind. While a couple of these youngsters spoke for the ceremony, my son wasn't even paying attention. There was more of this to come.

I put my son in soccer in second grade. He would look everywhere but the field during games and slowly jogged behind the players moving the ball. His coach left him on the bench most of the time, and even my husband concluded he wasn't athletic.

When he started high school, I didn't even consider putting him in leadership activities some of the other homeschooled boys were in. He just didn't have the personality they had.

When it came time for my son to go to college, he entered with an undeclared major. His best friend knew exactly what he wanted to do.

Comparing had me thinking I had failed. But here's the end of the story. This son of mine learned to play multiple instruments, mostly on his own. He asked to be part of our church's worship team. In college he started playing handball and excelled at it. He also started playing in pickleball tournaments and winning. He convinced his younger siblings to join the handball team and started a book club with friends and siblings as a working adult. He decided to become a physician's assistant while in college. He arranged to get the patient hours he needed, was accepted to PA school, graduated, and got a job he loves.

Now, I am not responsible for this young man's success. But neither did I fail him. Instead of comparing yourself to other moms or your kids to theirs, compare where you and your child are now to where you started. No doubt you've made progress.

The third reason you think you're failing is because you're depending on your own strength.

I recently began working on being able to do a pull-up. To build my strength, I was going to do negative pull-ups. You jump up to a bar and slowly lower yourself. I jumped up to the pull-up bar, only I didn't slowly lower. I very quickly landed flat on my back because the bar wasn't secure. I'm thrilled to say that I was okay. Thanks be to God.

But this is how I started my homeschooling journey too. I thought I was strong enough and disciplined enough to do it. And pride goeth before a fall. My pull-up training WAS a fail, but that was my first effort. After throwing the pull-up bar in the trash, I went to the gym and used a pull-up machine. I stood on a step that provided the support I needed when my strength wasn't up to the job. Since then I have been doing negative pull-ups at home. At first I asked my husband to spot me.

God is our strength and support for everything we do in this homeschooling life. He bears the burdens. He makes things work even when we mess up. All we have to do is ask Him. If we could do it in our own strength, we would be filled with pride. We wouldn't depend on Him.

God also provides support through a spouse, family, and friends. I could not have finished the job of homeschooling without their help and encouragement. Ask yourself if you've been trying to do homeschooling with no support. If so, ask for help. One thing I have learned about other homeschoolers in particular is they LOVE to help.

Conclusion

If you felt like you were failing when you started this podcast because you were focused on your weaknesses, comparisons, or doing it all yourself, I hope you're beginning to see the shore come into focus. You will land on your feet when you see that everything is working out exactly as God planned.

And one more thing. Although Jonah's failure is in print for thousands of years, your children are unlikely to remember your shortcomings. What will be a lasting memory is your faith in God and your love for them.

Be sure to subscribe for more encouragement. Have a happy homeschool week!